


joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea

by imeanthatsprettysnazzy



Series: Movie AUs [2]
Category: Elf (2003), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Elf (2003) AU, F/M, Gen, Peter Parker & Morgan Stark are Siblings (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Peter Parker is Buddy, Peter Parker is Tony Stark's Biological Child, no powers au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:06:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28225098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imeanthatsprettysnazzy/pseuds/imeanthatsprettysnazzy
Summary: He was discovered in Santas sack, by some of the elves; the elves not knowing what to do, and Peter too young to understand what was going on. This had been unprecedented. Never, in the history of everything, had a human child — or any human, for that matter — made their way into Santas workshop in the North Pole.OR elf, but make it ✨irondad✨
Relationships: Ben Parker & May Parker (Spider-Man) & Peter Parker, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: Movie AUs [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1966744
Comments: 24
Kudos: 61





	1. Chapter 1

* * *

**THE BEGINNING**

* * *

_“Of course you’re not an elf! You’re six-foot-three and had a beard since you were fifteen!”_

— Leon the snowman, Elf.

It began on Christmas Eve in 2001, in an orphanage in Queens, with a five month old boy named Peter Parker.

Peter Parker, who had been dropped off at the orphanage when he was only three days old, on the thirteenth of August; his mother, having a heart condition, had known that she would die soon, and her brother, her only surviving relative, had died soon before Peters birth.

He — Peter — had already started attempting to crawl, by this point, developing earlier than expected.

(It made a lot more sense, once his fathers identity was revealed.)

So, on Christmas Eve, just a few minutes before midnight, five month old Peter Parker ventured out of his crib in that orphanage in Queens, and somehow found his way to the large Christmas tree at the end of the room — and into the large red sack that lay there as one Santa Claus delivered presents to the orphanage.

It wasn’t until the next morning — all the way back in the North Pole on Christmas Day, after Santa had delivered the remainder of the gifts — that anyone realised that Peter Parker was there.

He was discovered in Santas sack, by some of the elves; the elves not knowing what to do, and Peter too young to understand what was going on. This had been unprecedented. _Never,_ in the history of _everything,_ had a human child — or any human, for that matter — made their way into Santas workshop in the North Pole.

And so clearly, none of the elves knew what to do.

Peters name was written on a band on his wrist; _Peter Parker,_ printed in uniform font on the small band.

So, the big man — Santa — made a decision. The boy would stay with them. He would be raised by the elves; with the elves. There was no going on by that point. Peter was already there.

He was taken in by a lovely couple; two elves, named Benjamin and May. He was given his adoptive fathers name, _Benjamin,_ as a middle name, and raised as their nephew — never told that he was a human, rather than an elf, and instead told that his birth parents had died before he could remember them.

Which, as far as anyone knew, _was_ technically true, as Peter had been in an orphanage before finding himself in the North Pole.

(Because of course, only Santa knew who Peters real father was. And he didn’t feel that it was necessary to tell the others that certain piece of information.)

Peter grew up like the other young elves… more or less. Soon enough, he started to outgrow the other children in his classes, growing taller than any elf could possibly be by the time he was ten.

He was smart. Crazily smart. So smart that Ben and May began to discuss taking him out of the ordinary elf school, and teach him at home, instead. Peter was basically genius. He excelled in his classes, he fixed appliances and toys and everything he could get his hands on — for fun.

When Peter was almost thirteen, his ‘Aunt May and Uncle Ben’; his adoptive parents, decided it best that they homeschool him, instead — and the big man agreed with them. _Everyone_ agreed with them. Peter Benjamin Parker — the _elf —_ was too smart for his own good, and the elves around him could barely keep up with his brain. He was inexplicably genius.

Really, the only thing keeping him at school with the other elves was his advantage at sports, which he only had because he was the size of a _human_ almost-thirteen year old, rather than an elf almost-thirteen year old.

Things went fine with Peter being taught by Ben and May. May taught Peter math and science and writing and languages, and Ben took Peter into work with him, letting the young boy help him fix and repair Santas sleigh.

Like everything to do with building or fixing or making _anything,_ Peter excelled in helping Ben work on the sleigh.

He still had no idea that he was a human. It definitely helped that Peter was small — by human standards. And that he’d never been led to believe that he wasn’t an elf in any way whatsoever. Ben and May were good like that; having raised him as their nephew rather than their son helped them immeasurably, and explained away things like Peters height and his lack of resemblance to either of them.

They were very careful with how they were — around the fact that Peter was actually human and how they kept that small, tiny fact a secret.

And so Peter continued to grow and learn, still never really suspecting anything of his true parentage.

Peter had just turned fifteen when Ben became sick.

Ben had known that he was older — even way back, when he and May let the little human baby into their home. But now… now it was showing. The sickness made him weaker and weaker, until…

Late October in 2016. Benjamin the elf — proclaimed _Benjamin Parker_ by Santa, both to strengthen the pretence of him be their nephew, and to let some of the child’s identity, from _before_ he got to the North Pole, remain intact — died.

He died a rather slow death, in a soft bed, with his wife on one side, holding his hand tightly with tears falling down her cheeks, and Peter on his other side, holding his other hand with both of his, and burying his face in the soft bedding to hide his tears.

“Peter…” Ben murmured, squeezing the boys hand tightly, trying to get the kid to look at him. “Peter, look at me, son.”

Peter looked up at him, his face red and tearstained. “Uncle Ben —” Peters voice cracked. “Uncle Ben, I — I can’t, Ben, I — I can’t, can’t — I can’t fo — this — _Ben!”_

Ben smiled sadly at Peter. “Kid. Pete. You’ll be okay, alright.” He pulled the kid closer, “You will be _fine._ You and May will be _fine.”_

“But — Ben I can’t, I can’t —“

“Peter, honey,” May said softly, running her spare hand through Peters hair, “Everything will be _fine,_ sweetie. We’ll… we’ll be okay.”

“But _May —”_

“Peter,” Ben shook his head. “Peter, you’ll be okay without me. I have to go soon, but — just remember the good times, okay?”

“Okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, kid. Just remember the good times. Please don’t remember me as my last moments.”

“Okay.” Peter breathed.

“I love you so much, Pete.”

“I love you too, Uncle Ben —“ He buried his head in the covers of the bed again. “I love you, I love you, I —“

“May.” Ben turned his head, to look at his wife, instead of his kid. “May, I love you so much, hon.”

“I love you too, Ben.” May smiled at him sadly. “So much.”

“May,” He lowered his voice. “May you have to — talk to —“ His breathing became laboured between his words. “— the — big guy — please — May, you — he’s — he’s gotta — gotta know about —” He choked, and breathed out one last time.

“Ben?” May shook his arm. “Ben?”

“Noo,” Peter shook his head, where he was still hiding in the covers on the bed. “No, ben, no, please!”

“Honey,” May disentangled her hand from Bens, and wrapped her arms around Peter instead. “It’ll be okay, hon. Everything will be _okay.”_

Ben died a rather ordinary death, surrounded by his wife and his nephew.

And that’s where things began to fall apart.

People started to talk, after that. They spoke about their sadness at Bens passing, and their worry for May, and —

— Peter knew that he shouldn’t have been eavesdropping that day, in the middle of the workshop. He was standing behind a shelf that none of the other could reach the top of, but he could. He felt — bad, since his Uncle died.

Peter had always known that he was different, ever since he was young. From when he got too large for the standard elf child beds, to when he grew taller than very person that he knew, to the way that toys just didn’t seem to… _inspire_ him. He was more interested in building machines and things. More interested in mechanics than… _toys._

There were a couple of elves there, talking.

“I can’t believe he hasn’t realised by now —“ one of them said, as they hid (unsuccessfully) on the other side of the shelf. “— I mean, Ben’s _died,_ and he still hasn’t figured it out.”

“And they say he’s a _genius.”_ The other one scoffed. “At this rate, Peter’ll never know he’s a human, not an elf.”

Peter froze, as the words began to process. His mind was moving at a mile a minute, and he began to see his life flash before his eyes —

— He was three years old, and he preferred to build machines, rather than toys. He was eight, and he was the same height as all the adults he knew, and much taller than all his classmates. He was eleven, and his clothing was too short. He was fourteen, and he wasn’t in school anymore, only going their to help the basketball team, because he was so much taller than all the others, and —

_— At this rate, he’ll never know he’s a human, not an elf, at this rate, he’ll never know he’s a human, not an elf, at this rate, he’ll never know he’s a human, not an elf, at this rate —_

Peter heard the faint sound of someone talking, but it barely registered — all he could see were memories; moments where he should’ve _known_ that he wasn’t normal — when he was five and he said that the candy was too sweet, when he was thirteen and he asked Ben if he could have coffee, when he was fourteen and he started tinkering with random stuff that he found instead of sleeping —

“I’m okay, I just need a glass of water.” He found himself saying, before he passed out, and fell flat on his face.

“I’m sorry, honey,” May told his softly, smiling at him sadly. “And — well, Ben told me to tell you, but you’ve been so upset, and I — I couldn’t do that to you, but… I guess I have to. You — probably should have found out a long time ago, but…” She sighed. “But those elves were right. You’re not an elf, sweetie. You’re a human.”

Peter just stared at her, flabbergasted.

“And I know — I _know_ we should’ve told you, but — we just love you so much, and — and you…” May sighed again. “Honey, I’m going to tell you a story, okay?”

“Okay.” Peter murmured.

“Your father — your father is a man who has always been rich and famous, and… and he has messed around a lot, in his life. He didn’t think about what his actions caused, and so when he had uh — when he had —“

“— sex?” Peter finished softly.

“Yeah, that,” May laughed humorously. “After a night with your mom doing — that — he just went on with his life, and she didn’t tell him about you,”

Peter frowned. “My dad doesn’t… know that I exist?”

“No, he — he doesn’t. He — your mom never told him about you, and then her brother died a few weeks before you were born, and she had a heart condition and so she — and so she put you up for adoption… and you… and you found your way here. To us.”

Peter swallowed thickly. “So my parents are… not dead?”

“Your father is alive. Not your mother, though.”

“My father is alive — cool. Cool, cool, coolcoolcoolcoolcool, cool — cool. Where can I, uh — where can I find my dad, my — my father? Where can I find him?”

May reached into the drawer next to her, and passed him a snow globe with a city in it. “Your father is in New York City. If you want — if you find him… if that’s… what you want to do. Whatever you want to do, I’ll always be here for you.”

Peter grinned, and engulfed her in a hug. “Thank you, May.” He murmured. “I’m gonna find my dad.”

“You’re welcome, honey.” She smiled sadly. “Now, uh — Santa wants to talk to you, about something. Before you go. I, uh — I love you, baby.”

“I love you too, May.” He let go of her, took the snow globe, and smiled. “I’m gonna go find my dad!”

“And talk to Santa first!” May called after him as he left their house.

“And talk to Santa first.” Peter rolled his eyes as he left, and made his way to meet the big guy in the workshop.

“So,” Santa smiled. “I hear you're going on a little journey to the big city.”

“Yeah…” Peter shrugged. “Kinda nervous, I guess. I, uh… we’ll I’ve heard that New York is pretty different, so that’s kind of…”

“You’ve got nothing to worry about, kid!” The old man said heartily. “Trust me — I’ve been to New York thousands of times.”

“Really? That so cool!”

“Mmhmm.”

“Whats it like?”

“Well there are some things you should know. First off, you see gum on the street, you should leave it. It’s not fee candy.”

“Oh…”

“Second, there are like, thirty Rays Pizzas. They all claim to be the original, but the real one’s on eleventh. And if you see a sign that says ‘peep show’, that doesn’t mean that they’re letting you look at presents before Christmas.”

Peter grinned. “Okay! I can’t wait to see — well, meet, I guess - my dad, we’re gonna go ice-skating, and eat something salty and savoury, and — and maybe he’ll like to build not toys, too! We can do all that together!”

“Yeah, that’s… the other thing I wanted to talk about.” Santa adjusted his glasses, and did his best to avoid Peters gaze. “Y’know, Peter, your father… yeesh… your father, well — uh — he’s on the naughty list.”

_“NOOOO!”_

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

**NEW YORK CITY**

* * *

_“Why don’t you just say it? I’m the worst toy-maker in the world? I am a cotton-headed ninny-muggins!”_

_— Buddy the elf, Elf._

A cotton-headed ninny-muggins — that was how Peters Aunt May had explained why his biological father was on the naughty list. She said that he was too self-destructive. That he pushed people away, and worked too much.

She also told Peter that he was a son of a nutcracker, and then thought him a string of lovely human curses that Peter was too afraid to use… because of how annoyed May had sounded when she said them.

He knew better than to contradict an angry May.

And so Peter walked away from the North Pole — through the arctic, and the seven levels of the candy cane forest, past the sea of twirly-swirly gum drops, and through a pine forest. Then, he walked through the Lincoln Tunnel. To New York.

May had given him a photo, before he left the North Pole — of his mother on the night that she met his father — as well as the snow globe.

 _Stark Tower —_ that was where she said he would find his dad. He had to find Stark Tower, in Midtown Manhattan, and ask for Tony Stark… or, at least, ask where the R&D (whatever that was) offices were. That was where Santa had said be would be. Tony Stark. His dad. His dads name was Tony Stark, and Peter had to find Stark Tower in Midtown Manhattan to find him.

New York City was like nothing Peter had ever seen before — but he somehow also felt ridiculously at home there. It was a weird feeling, of complete detachment, and yet strong belonging. He couldn’t really explain it.

Everything in New York was loud and bright and exciting. There were cars everywhere, billboards and stores and people handing out pieces of paper in front of stores. There were people walking though the streets and animals and trees, and —

— one particular store caught his eye. A coffee shop, claiming they had made the best cup of coffee in the world.

Peter had always wanted to taste coffee.

He burst into the shop, grinning and clapping. “Good job, guys! The best cup of coffee in the world! Congratulations — to all of you!”

Everyone in the shop just stared at him blankly.

Peter laughed awkwardly. “Uh — okay, well… I’ve gotta go find my dad, but good job!” He left the store quickly.

Peter wandered around the city basically aimlessly, occasionally stopping to take a pamphlet or talk to someone excitedly or stare at something that he thought was cool… and, eventually, he found Stark Tower — standing tall against the skyline, right in the middle of Manhattan.

Peter grinned up at it, taking in how amazing the building looked.

He took a deep breath, and went in.

The lobby of the building was huge and modern, full of people going back and forth between weird sliding metal doors, and people in suits with little suitcases and people behind the desks in the lobby.

Peter grinned, and followed a man to one of the sliding doors. He got in — and freaked out when the doors closed.

The man in the little room thing looked at him a bit weirdly — like most people were doing, for some reason — and Peter grinned at him. “Hi! Do you know which floor the R&D offices are on? I need to find my dad.”

“Eighty… seven…” The man said slowly, his eyebrows raised as he continued to look at Peter.

Peter pressed the button on the wall with the number eighty-seven on it, and jumped in excitement when it lit up. “Oh!” He exclaimed. “That’s so cool!”

He pressed more of the buttons — _most_ of the buttons, so that all the letters were lit up.

“It’s so pretty!” He murmured, before turning to smile at his companion again. “It looks like a Christmas Tree!”

“Mm.” The man hummed, looking very not-happy, for some reason.

The thing they were in stopped on every floor after that, until the man got of on sixty four.

“Bye!” Peter called to him as he got off. “Oh, wait! I forgot to give you a hug!”

Before he could chase after the man, the sliding metal doors had closed again. He continued to stop at every floor until he also got off, on floor eighty-seven.

He jumped over the gap between the metal door thing, and the normal floor, and then went up to the fancy white desk on the floor, where a woman with red hair sat, looking very bored.

“Hi!” Peter said to him quickly. “Hi, Im — I’m uh, looking for Tony Stark?”

The woman eyed him, and then picked up a phone from the desk. “Yeah, hey Tony, this is Natasha — there’s some sort of Christmas Gram Elf thing here for you, I’m going to send him in — yeah. Of course — okay, I’m sending him in.” The woman — _Natasha —_ put the phone down, and smiled at Peter somewhat awkwardly. “It’s the one right on the end of that hallway to the right — says Tony Stark on the door.”

“Okay, thank you!” Peter grinned, starting down the hallway.

“Wait, kid,” The lady paused him. “Shouldn’t you be at school? You still look — school age…”

“I’m home schooled.” Peter smiled — that was _technically_ true. He then went down the hallway to Tony Starks R&D office.

Just like Natasha had said it would, the door at the end had _Tony Stark_ written on a small plaque on it. Peter stood for a second, hesitant to knock, before a tired and irritated looking man opened the door.

“Right, lets get this over with — Nat said this is some sort of Christmas thing, so — go ahead. Sing, or whatever.”

Peter froze for a moment at the tight of the man — Tony Stark. That was _his dad!_ He tried to memorise his fathers face, ingraining the mans goatee and his tinted sunglasses and his brown eyes and his eye bags into his mind.

His dad. That was his dad. He was standing in front of his dad.

His dad was staring at him with raised eyebrows, and a couple of other employees had gathered behind Peter. Peter grinned. “I walked all day and night to find you!”

“You look like you came from the north pole.” His dad said, looking at Peters elf clothes. He didn’t look overly impressed, but Peter ignored it.

“That’s exactly where I came from!” He exclaimed. “Did Santa call you? He must have called you!”

“Oh, yeah. Sure. Just got off the phone with him, actually.”

The workers that were gathered behind Peter as he slowly came further into his fathers office laughed.

“You did?” Peter asked.

“Yeah, sure. So… go on.”

“Go on with what?”

“You gonna sing a song or something, kid, or can I just go back to work —”

“A song? Right, right, yeah. Anything for you dad.” Peter laughed awkwardly, before talking in a sing-song way. “I — uh — I’m hereeee, with my daddd, and we’ve never met, and he wants me to sing him a songgg, and, uhh — um, I was adopted, but you didn’t know I was bornnn, so I’m here now, I found you, da-ad — and, guess what? I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love yooouuuu!”

“Well, that was — weird.” The man sat back down at his desk. “You know, usually you guys just, uh — put my name to jingle bells or something.”

“No, no, no,” Peter came closer to his fathers desk, shaking his head. “It’s me, your son! I — Mary Parker had me, and — well, May said you wouldn’t remember her, probably, but you met her on New Years Eve — in two-thousand, and, uh — and she didn’t tell you, about me, and now I’m here, and — and it’s me. Peter.”

“Alrighty, uh — Nat?” The red haired woman from the front desk looked up at the man. “Who sent this Christmas gram?”

Natasha shrugged and shook her head slightly.

“Whats a Christmas gram?” Peter asked excitedly, as Natasha went across to Tony, and the two started whispering about Rogers and Barnes, whatever that was. “I want one!”

“Good idea.” Natasha said properly, using back out to her desk.

A minute or two later, two very large, strong men, one with blonde hair, and one with brown hair and a metal arm — Rogers and Barnes, Peter assumed — entered the room, and restrained him. They dragged him away from the building, one they got back to the ground floor, and then finally let go of him.

“What — sir, sir, please, he’s my dad, and I — I just wanna talk to him! He’s my dad!”

“Look, kid, I’m sorry.” The one with the metal arm frowned. “We’re just doing out jobs. So you gotta come back tomorrow.”

“Okay!” Peter grinned. “See you tomorrow! I’ll be back then!”

Peter didn’t really know what to do, after that. He went into a huge store with a Christmas section, and then a bunch of old people yelled at him about how he should be at school — so, he went to find a school.

He walked for a long way, to a part of New York called Queens, and there — there, he found a school.

He snuck into the school. He went through it, until he found a room with a male figure on the door, with a bunch of lockers inside. Peter knew that his traditional elf clothing — the ones he had been wearing for as long as he could remember — were drawing attention to him. And he… he didn’t want to get changed, but — but he had to. If he wanted to successfully pretend to be a part of normal human society, and win over his fathers affections, he had to do this.

Peter stole some of the clothes from one of the lockers — a large blue sweater, some jeans and some running shoes — and then went out into the school.

He knew absolutely nothing about human school, but he had to pretend to be a part of it — hopefully he could get away with it, if he could fly under the radar.

He waited until a loud bell rang, like the one in Santas workshop that signified meal times, and then went out into the masses of people. He saw a kid walking alone, and so silently fell into step next to him.

“Hi!” Peter whisper-yelled, startling the guy slightly. “Hi, please don’t freak out. I’m Peter Parker, I’m not quite sure if I’m meant to be here or not, but I just need to blend in for a couple days.”

The kid blinked slowly, then shrugged. “I mean… alright. I’ll, uh — I’ll help you.”

“Thanks, man!” Peter grinned. “What’s happening right now?”

The guy laughed. “It’s, uh — It’s lunch break… have you not been to a school before, dude?”

Peter nodded. “Yeah! I mean, I went to school, but it was years ago, and it wasn’t here, and then I was _home schooled,_ and then my uncle died, and then it turned out that I have a dad, and I don’t think he likes me very much, and —”

He and the guy sat down at a metal table in a cafeteria, and the guy looked at him. “Alright, uh — Peter.”

“Peter Parker!” Peter smiled.

“Peter Parker… uh, I’m Ned Leeds. How old are you? Like, if you’re my age, I could easily sneak you into my classes, uh… yeah. I’m fifteen, and you are…?”

“I’m fifteen too!” Peter exclaimed. “Wow, everything here is so different to at home!”

“Yeah?” Ned asked. “Where you from? You sound like you could be from around here…”

“Uh, I was raised in the North Pole.” He grinned. “By the elves.”

“You’re… an elf? Like, a Santa elf?” Ned asked in disbelief.

“Well… no.” Peter shrugged. “I’m technically a human, but I got taken to Santas workshop by accident, and so my Uncle Ben raised me, and he is — _was —_ an elf. But then he died, and my Aunt May told me about my dad, so now I’m here!”

“O — kay.” Ned breathed out slowly. “Alright, uh… cool…”

Peter was actually really good at school. The teachers didn’t even question his presence, and so even when he got called on, they didn’t seem to realise that he wasn’t supposed to be there.

He actually felt like what he’d been told up in the North Pole his whole life, about him being a genius. All the stuff that they did was super easy, even though Ned had said that Midtown Tech — the school — was a smart person school.

He was on his way back to the Christmas store, so that he could sleep on one of the huge beds he saw when he was in there earlier.

On the way there, he ran into a man, who seemed to be… being mad at a woman, and he was following her, and Peter hated it, he hated it, he hated it, and — Peter attacked the man. He jumped on him, and pulled him away from the woman, and — at some point, he remembered yelling at the woman to go, and then he just started kicking, and punching, to the point where he and the man were full out fighting.

At some point, he and the mad were both taken to a police station. They gave him a phone call, and so he asked them to call his dad — Tony Stark, which the men all found very amusing — and they all told him that his dad wouldn’t show.

But, after an hour and a half, his very mad looking father turned up in the police precinct.

“Ha!” Peter said as loudly as he could, when the cops let him out and he was standing next to his dad. “You all said he wouldn’t come, but he’s here — he’d my dad, and he came to get me, and I told you so!”

“Okay, Peter, kid, we need to —”

“Okay!” Peter exclaimed.

They left that station, and his father stopped him half way down the stairs back to street level. “What do you want from me, kid?”

“What — what do you mean?”

“I checked out Mary Parker, New Years Eve in 2000, she had a kid August of 2001, she’s real.” He said quickly. “But that doesn’t mean that you’re legit, so you must want something from me. Is it money? Because if it’s money, I can just give you cash, and we can be done with it.”

“No, dad, I —“ Peter shook his head. “I just wanted to meet you. Because you’re my dad.”

“Because I’m your dad.” Tony muttered under his breath. “Alright, kid. We’re going to go see my friend Helen, and we’re going to find out if this is real, okay?”

“Okay.” Peter grinned. “Lets go see Helen!”

“Oh, and kid,” His dad said as they kept going down to the street, and got in a fancy looking car. “Where’d you get the new outfit? You seemed pretty certain that you were an elf before.”

“No I’m not an _actual_ elf.” Peter rolled his eyes. “I was _raised_ by elves. And they didn’t actually tell me that I wasn’t and elf until I figured it out — but I’m not an elf.”

“Still… doesn’t explain the clothes.”

“I got them from school.” Peter said happily as his dad started to drive. “They were in a locker, so I put them on.”

“School?”

Peter just shrugged.

His dad sighed. “Okay. We’ll, uh — get you some real clothes, and return those ones.” The man shook his head exasperatedly. “Oh, and kid?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you have like… breathing issues? Asthma or anything? Bad eyesight or something? Because if your story checks out, and you were born in August, that’s pretty damn early.”

“Oh, um…” Peter nodded. “Yeah, I guess so. I have this breathing puffer thing, and I used to have glasses, but they kept fogging up, so now I have contacts instead.”

“Huh.” Tony drummed his fingers against the steering wheel as he drove to Cho’s private clinic.

They had to get a paternity test.

“Yep.” Helen Cho told Tony as she looked over the results of the paternity test. “You’re his father.”

“Fuck.” Tony muttered. “What am I meant to do here?”

Cho sighed. “He needs a parent, Stark. A father. He needs love, and nurturing, and — yeah. Sending him to school seems like a good idea — he’s very smart for a kid that thinks he’s an elf.”

“Not an elf r — raised by them.” Tony sighed exasperatedly. “God, that’s the _problem,_ Doc! He thinks he’s an elf! What am I meant to do with that? What do I tell Pepper and Morgan?”

Helen smiled at him sadly. “Look Stark, you can try deny that he’s your son all you want — and don’t try tell me you’re not doing that, I can tell — or you can look after him, okay? You tell Pepper the truth, you give the kid a place to stay and some love, send him to school, get him to make friends… He’s still just a kid, Tony. He _needs_ you.”

Tony sighed, and opened the door to reveal Peter sitting on the floor against the wall outside. He took a deep breath. “Okay kid. Son. You were right; you’re my kid. We’re going back to my place, now.”

 _Shit,_ Tony thought as Peter jumped up and hugged him tightly, _he’d just acquired a teenage son._


	3. Chapter 3

* * *

**THE STARK FAMILY**

* * *

_“First, we’ll make snow angels for two hours, then we’ll go ice skating, then we’ll eat a whole roll of Tollhouse cookie-dough as fast as we can, and then we’ll snuggle.”_

_— Buddy the elf, Elf_

“Well…” Pepper Stark laughed dryly as she and her husband talked quietly on the way from the elevator to their penthouse apartment. “I can’t say that I wasn’t expecting this to happen eventually, babe. Have you forgotten the 90’s? The 2000’s? Literally every time between ’91 and ’08? It’s honestly surprising that it’s taken this long for a kid of yours to show up.”

“No, no Pep, you —” Tony sighed. “You don’t get it, hon, he — he thinks that he’s an _elf._ He thinks he’s from the North Pole and that he knows Santa, and — yeah. He thinks that he’s an elf.”

Pepper laughed, as she pushed open the door to their house, which Tony had left unlocked when we went down to SI to pick her up — and tell her about the kid. “I’m sure it’s not as bad as you’re making it out to be, Tony. You’re exagger—” She trailed off at the sight of her house, cut out snowflakes and tinsel and all sorts of christmassy things hanging everywhere.

“I’m not exaggerating.” Tony said bluntly.

“Uh, yeah.” His wife rolled her eyes. “I can see that. Where’s Morgan? Have you told her yet?”

He nodded. “Yeah, told her when I picked her up from Melanie’s place — she thinks that it’s awesome.”

Pepper took a long breath. “Okay.” She smiled, walking further into the penthouse. “Morgan, P — it’s Peter, right?” Tony nodded. “Okay. Morgan, Peter! We’re home!”

“Mommmyyyyyyy!” Morgan ran toward Tony and Pepper, throwing her arms around Peppers waist when she got close to them. “Mommy, guess what?” The five year old whispered as she hugged her mom.

“What?” Pepper whispered back, shooting a look at her husband, saying _‘be nice to your damn son, I don’t care if he thinks that he’s a shitting elf’._ Tony rolled his eyes, and went further into the penthouse, glaring around all of the over the top Christmas decorating.

Morgan released Pepper, and jumped up and down in front of her in excitement. “Daddy brought me a big brother!”

She grinned, shooting a pointed look in Tonys direction. “Did he? That’s _so_ cool! Can I meet him?”

“Yeah!” Morgan grabbed her hand, dragging Pepper through the entrance, and to the lounge room, where a teenage boy — no more than fifteen — sat, wearing a full on elf costume.

Peppers smile faltered slightly as she took in the kid.

He was cute. Looked sweet. And she could easily see the resemblance between the kid and Tony — the brown curls, just like Tonys own hair, in the college photos that Rhodey had shown her, and the eyes, the _eyes._ Peters eyes looked exactly the same as his fathers. The same bark and yet bright brown, that Pepper could see the intelligence in, clear as day. Peters eyes were even more similar to Tonys than Morgans, and hers were already strikingly similar.

Pepper could see immediately that this kid, this weird little elf kid, was he husbands son. There was nothing more to it — she could see it, plain as day.

She smiled, and sat next to Peter on the couch. “Hi, Peter… I’m Pepper. I’m Morgans mom — Tony’s wife.”

“Hi!” Peter exclaimed. He was smiling at the woman. “I’m Peter — you already knew that — uh, I’m — I’m Tonys son — he’s my dad… yeah!”

“Where have you _been_ for the last fifteen years?” She asked.

Peter shrugged. “My mom put me up for adoption, and I ended up in the North Pole accidentally, and then my Uncle Ben and Aunt May adopted me — and then Uncle Ben died, and I found out that I had a dad in New York — and _then_ I went through the seven levels of the candy cane forest, past the sea of twirly-whirly gum drops, and then through the Lincoln Tunnel — and now, I’m here!”

Pepper blinked, a bit taken aback. The kid looked _exactly_ like Tony, but personality-wise, he already seemed like Tonys polar opposite.

Peter smiled at her. “If you’re my dad’s wife, and my half-sisters mom, that makes you my step-mom, right miss Pepper?”

“Yes, honey.” She smiled. “It makes me your step-mom — so you can just call me Pepper. No need for the miss.”

Peter grinned.

Peter found dinner to be a very awkward affair.

His younger half-sister (well, that was what his father introduced her as, but Peter preferred to think of Morgan as his baby sister, not just half-sister), seemed to like him well enough. She’d been excited when he told her stories about Santa and the elves and the North Pole and the workshop.

His step-mom had seemed okay enough with everything he said to her, but she seemed overly sympathetic — which Peter didn’t want her to be. She acted like his being raised by Ben and May was somehow something to be sad about and Peter… wasn’t really sure how he felt about her having that mindset.

Sure, maybe things would be less complicated if he was raised a human, but… well, he hadn’t been, and he didn’t really want to think about the what-ifs.

Peters dad was a whole other story — he basically just outright avoided him. Didn’t seem to want to talk to Peter.

And all of that came into play during dinner — with his eating habits.

Pepper made pasta, which was a Peters dads moms recipe — his grandmas recipe. He’d always been intrigued by salty and savoury foods, something that the elves he was raised around didn’t have, but when he ate the pasta — as good and tasty and salty (which he decided he was _definitely_ a fan of) it was — it made him feel kind of unwell. And it made him feel like he needed much more energy.

He needed a sugar hit. Peter smiled at Pepper, where she was sitting across from him. “Do you have any syrup?”

She stared back at him blankly. “… syrup?”

“Y’know — syrup. Like maple syrup sorta thing.”

“Uh…” Pepper paused. “Not here — I can get you some, but we don’t usually —”

“No, no, don’t worry about it — I’m sure I have some.” Peter reached around up his sleeve, until he found a bottle of syrup. “Here, I’ve got one. Thanks anyway, though!”

Pepper chuckled awkwardly.

Peter poured the syrup over his pasta, and Morgan stared at him in disgust. “You’re eating syrup on pasta? Thats so _grosss!”_

“Morgan, be nice.” Pepper offered him a smile, after reprimanding her daughter. “So you, uh… you like sugar a lot, huh?”

“I mean there’s sugar in syrup, so yeah.” Peter nodded. “Yeah, we elves — well, _elves,_ like the ones I was raised by, not like me. I’m a person. A human person… Anyway, elves like to stick to the four main food groups; candy, candy canes, candy corns, and syrup.”

“… huh.” Peters step-mom said softly. His dad groaned.

Peter ignored it. “I mean, I don’t love it as much as everyone always told me I should — like, all the sugary stuff is a _lot,_ and like — well, I would rather eat just plain salty stuff, but I haven’t every really eaten stuff that’s savoury, so I don’t think my body is really jazzed about me trying to change foods that I eat. My friend Ned gave me some corn chips today, and I almost threw up from how not-sweet they were, even though they tasted amazing.”

“I’m guessing Ned was the way that you blended in at Midtown today?” His dad asked, sounding somehow tense and bored at the same time.

“Yeah!” Peter exclaimed. “He’s super nice! He let me hand out with him all day, and helped me lend in in all his classes — it was great! I like school.”

After that, nobody really spoke. They ate the rest of their pasta, then his dad disappeared downstairs — Pepper said that he was going to his lab — and Morgan seemed very annoyed that he did that.

He didn’t see his dad after that. Pepper tucked him in, when he told her that he couldn’t sleep without being tucked in — especially since Ben died. He was certain that she only obliged out of pity, but at least he got tucked in.

“Tony!” Pepper said, exasperated, when the man came up to their bedroom from the lab the next morning. “You slept in the lab again — you _promised_ that you would stop doing that!”

“I’m sorry, Pep, I just —“ He followed her as she ventured out to the kitchen. “— I’m just really stressed, hon. With Ross being all onto me with the next phone, and this whole _‘Peter’_ thing —”

Peter looked up and grinned when his father and his step-mom walked out of their room. “Hey! How are you guys? I made breakfast!” He held up one of the plates of omelettes that he was taking across to the table. “And I made everyone lunches, and I made that rocking horse.” He pointed to the corner of the room, where, sure enough, there was a handmade wooden rocking horse.

“Wow…” Pepper breathed, looking at the wooden horse. “Did you get _any_ sleep?”

“Yeah!” Peter grinned, as he sat down at one of the chairs, as he poured a very sparse amount of sprinkles onto his omelette — he was trying to slowly get rid of his sugar dependance. “I got a whole forty minutes — and you guys have _coffee_ here, so I had some of that. There was never any coffee in the North Pole, and I kept asking Santa if he could being me coffee back after Christmases, because — well, I dunno why, but I’ve always just like, _longed_ for it, if you know what I man — but he never did, so that was my first time drinking it, and it was _amazing!”_

“Hey, just like you, honey.” Pepper elbowed her husband, laughing. “No sleep and caffeine. Basically the most Tony Stark thing to do in the world.”

“Yeah.” Tony frowned. “Where’d you get all the wood from?”

“Oh, there was a desk in my room that I didn’t need, so I used that.”

“Righto.” Tony sighed as he ate his omelette. “This is actually alright, kid. Remind me to bring cheeseburgers home after work.”

“I thought you were working late tonight?” Pepper asked. “You’ve been complaining about it heaps!”

“Yeah, I am — but I’ll want cheeseburgers, and Morgan likes cheeseburgers, and the kid needs to try a cheeseburger, so…” He shrugged.

Peter got up and left the room, and Tony sighed. “I — oh, god, Pep, I — I don’t know what I’m meant to do here, he — he’d crazy!”

 _‘Tony!”_ Pepper hissed. “Don’t _say_ that!”

“He thinks that he’s and _elf!”_

“So he’s got some issues,” His wife rolled her eyes. “So do you, so does everyone. He’s clearly got some stuff to work through; his uncle just died, he found out that _you_ are his dad, he’s staying with complete strangers… and, all that aside, he’s _exactly_ like you, Tony! You should hear him talk about things he’s interested — he is _insanely_ smart, and he sounds _just_ like you, and — he’s your _son,_ Tony. He’s your _son._ You need to care for him.”

Tony rubbed his forehead. “I know I do, Pep, and — he is a nice kid, but I just… this isn’t how I imagined I’d have a son, y’know? I would’ve wanted to have him with you, or — or even if he was from my… before the accident in ’08, I would’ve wanted him to _not_ think that he was raised by mythical creatures.”

Pepper rolled her eyes. “Well, that’s not what the universe has given you. Peter is your son, and you need to step up — for your son.” She stood up, and left him alone at the table. “I’ll take the kids to school. See you tonight.” She said, sounding cold.

Peter picked Morgan up from her pre-school. Pepper had given him an emergency phone on the way to school that morning, and so he got her to call them so they would let Peter pick Morgan up.

He was… going okay, in human society. Nobody was really questioning his presence at school, and Ned was cool. Ned was really, really cool.

Ned was also a hacker. Which had helped them a lot. Peters friends skills really helped them at lunch, when Ned hacked into the school system at put Peter in it, so that he was _sort of_ legally getting an education. Ned was also able to make Peters dads money be going toward his education, which was also cool. Because he wasn’t stealing his education.

As they walked away from Morgans pre-school, through a park, a snowball came flying there way.

Morgan ducked down, clumsily pulling him down with her. “Petey,” She whispered loudly. “You’ve gotta help me! It’s the big kids, from the middle school across the street!”

Peter smirked. “We need to fight back?”

Mogan nodded.

“Okay.” He breathed. “Okay, start making snowballs.” Peter made a huge pile of snowballs as fast as he could — only pausing to give Morgan a grin as she stared at them in amazement — and then started ditching them at the kids.

“Wait, wait, wait, Petey!” Morgan exclaimed, once he’d got all but one down. “We only have one left! You’re not gonna get him!”

“I’ll get him.” Peter concentrated, aimed, and then threw the snowball.

It hit the kid, and the kid fell straight over into the snow.

“Yeah!” He and Morgan both yelled, high five-ing in celebration of their victory.

Peter loved his sister.

They laughed, and started walking back to the penthouse. “D’ya think that dad will actually bring burgers?” He asked.

“He will.” Morgan said sincerely. “He never forgets cheeseburgers.”

“He’s the best dad!”

Morgan shrugged. “He’s okay. He’s just always busy, and working, and in the lab building stuff.” They started to get closer to where they lived.  
Daddy tries his best, but his best isn’t always _the_ best. Mommy said that he’s got some _‘serious issues’”_ she air-quoted the last two words.

Peter laughed, and picked Morgan up, sitting her on his shoulders. “That’s a lot of wisdom, little miss. My oh so wise little baby sister.”

“I’m not wise.” His sister rolled her eyes. “I’m not a genius, like mommy told me you and daddy are when we were driving — I just _listen,”_ she wrapped her arms around his neck, and leant her cheek on his head. “I’m _always_ listening. To _everything.”_

Peter snorted. “Alrighty. That wasn’t creepy at all. Completely normal.”

Morgan cackled evilly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next chap will either be up like later on the 25th ao3 time (which is like early 26th where im at but oh well) or early 26th ao3 time (later 26th my time) :D


	4. Chapter 4

* * *

**MERRY CHRISTMAS**

* * *

_“I’m sorry I ruined your lives and crammed eleven cookies into the VCR.”_

_— Buddy the elf, Elf._

Peter and Morgan stopped half way back, and he cut down one of the large trees, to take home for a Christmas tree — because, for some reason that Peter couldn’t even begin to comprehend, they didn’t have a Christmas tree — even though it was only a few days until Christmas.

It really didn’t make sense to him at all.

So, he and his baby sister were getting a tree — and nobody needed to know that they stole a whole huge tree from a park.

They dragged it all the way back to their house, and somehow managed to get it all the way up to the penthouse, though they had to take the stairs to do so.

Peter really enjoyed hanging out with Morgan, and decorating the tree wasn’t an exception to this.

The tree was a bit too big, as part of the top was bent over against the ceiling, but it was fine. They still covered it in ornaments and tinsel and lights, and squashed a star just below where the top of the tree started to tip over.

It was almost eight when their dad and Pepper arrived back to the apartment, talking quietly about the company.

Pepper had told him all about Stark Industries — which she was the CEO of, and Tony was the owner and head of R&D (she’d had to explain what that meant to him) of the company.

“We brought food!” Pepper called, as they came in to the lounge room. “Morgan! Peter!”

Both of the adults froze when they saw the huge tree, which he and his sister were still both decorating.

“Mommy! Daddy!” Morgan exclaimed. “Petey got me, and we got the mean middle school guys with snowballs, and then we got a tree! Do you like it?”

“Uh…” Tony glanced between his daughter, Peter — his _son,_ he kept having to remind himself — and the tree. “Where exactly did you… _get_ the tree?”

Peter grinned. “We cut it down in a park, and we had to drag it all the way up the stairs, and it was _awesome!”_

“Thats… cool.” Tony shook his head slightly, to clear it. “Well — we brought burgers! Pete, kid, you’ve gotta try one. You’ll love it.”

“We even got you a sugary drink.” Pepper smiled, passing him a plastic cup with a straw that said _Burger King_ on it. “It’s a Pepsi. Lots of sugar.”

“Thanks!”

“Oh, and fries,” Tony cut in. He wasn’t quite sure why, because he was just annoyed about the whole Peter thing, but he _was_ kind of jealous of the fact that the kid seemed to get on so much better with Morgan and Pepper than he did with him. And he _knew_ that it was on him, but — still. He made the decision that he was going to _try._ “We got burgers, we got fries, we got drinks, there’s ice cream in the freezer — lets have a movie night.”

Pepper raised her eyebrows at him, and Tony just shrugged.

What could he say — the kid _might_ be growing on him. Even if Peter was an overexcited (undeniably extremely smart) elf kid.

Tony clapped his hands together in front of him. “Okay — I’m thinking we introduce Dobby here to Star Wars.”

Pepper smiled, and grabbed his arm before he could go further into the lounge room. “Tony,” She said quietly. “I’m proud of you.”

He smiled back at her.

“Hey, dad?” Peter came running over to them, from the oversized tree. “What’s a dobby?”

“Dear god.” Tony whispered. “You haven’t read Harry Potter.”

“No, I haven’t.” Peter shrugged. “I’ve read lots of elf literature, though! Have you read Alabaster Snowballs guide to good values? It’s pretty good! We had to read it at school, and it said that the best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear — its one of the most important things to know as elves!” Peter smiled brightly.

Tony frowned slightly. “Uh… can’t say I have read that — and Dobby’s an elf — from a book called Harry Potter. I mean, Rowling sucks ass, but they’re iconic.”

“Bad word!” Morgan exclaimed.

“Yeah, yeah, sorry little miss.” Tony smiled. He turned to Pepper. “Honey, can you remind me to get him the boxset — before Christmas?”

Pepper smiled. “Of course.” She spoke louder. “Okay! Star Wars time!”

School the next day was great — especially since Peters presence there was sort of legal at that point, because of — well, because he and Ned managed to sneak him into the system.

Okay, so maybe it wasn’t _completely_ okay for him to be there, but it didn’t really matter — it was the last day of school anyway.

And, Peter was hopeful that when school went back after New Years, _maybe_ his dad would actually like, properly enrol him. That would be cool.

He discovered that Ned was a very avid fan of Star Wars, and so they talked about the one that Peter watched the previous night for the entirety of lunch.

Then, the girl was there.

She was cool, Peter decided. She was kind of dark, but she was cool, and really pretty, and Peter liked her a lot. Her name was Michelle, and she was the captain of the academic decathlon team that Ned was on.

And she invited him to their last practice, after school — and it had been _awesome._

Michelle — MJ, she said he could call her — had told him that she had noticed him in a couple of the classes that they had together, and that they were a person short since some other girl called Liz left, and so he was on some sort of trial.

It had been great, though. He knew the questions, he discovered that he was actually better at chemistry than most people, even though he’d always thought that his science interest was just… normal-ish, and the mini team that he was on in their practice competition toward the end won.

And then, MJ invited him to the decathlon lunch the next day, on Christmas Eve, and it was even more great. He was on the team, for _real,_ Michelle had said, and he was overjoyed.

It was great, and he was _really_ excited about it — so, he ran the entire way to Stark Tower, to tell his dad. Peter had the feeling that his father was starting to kind of like him, especially after the movie the night before; the man had seemed to be _affectionate_ toward him.

He barged into the meeting room that Natasha had told him his father was in, smiling brightly. “Dad! They let me on the team!” He exclaimed. “They let me on the team! I’m on the team, and Ned likes Star Wars, and MJ is amazing!”

“Not — not right now, Peter.” His dad shook his head, pointing to the door. “We can talk after this meeting with Mister Eitri, okay? Can you pls just wait outside, just until I’m done in here? I won’t be long, okay?”

Peter saw Mister Eitri, and gasped. “I didn’t know you had elves working here!”

The man at the table closest to Peter stared at him, his jaw dropping, and Natasha froze as she sat in her seat.

“Oh, you’re hilarious. Absolutely hilarious, my friend.”

Tony shook his head, waving Peter away and speaking to Eitri. “He doesn’t, uh — he doesn’t understand. Just, uh — get back to what you were saying. Why do you want us to re-open the weapons —”

Eitri rolled his eyes. “We all know about everything that Obadiah Stane,” Tony flinched at the name. “Did was wrong, the whole getting terrorists to kidnap you in ’08 and everything, wasn’t good. But Stark weapons were —”

“Does Santa know that you left the workshop?” Peter asked loudly.

“You know, we’re all laughing our heads off.”

“Did you have to borrow a reindeer to get down here?”

“Peter!” Tony exclaimed. “Go — out. Go find Pepper. Ninety-first floor. Get out of here.”

“Hey!” Eitri snapped. “I get more action in a _week_ than you’ve had in your entire life. Ive got houses — LA, Paris, Venice — each one of them worth more than your entire existence. _And_ I want born out of a drunken fling —”

“— Eitri, that’s not very appropriate —” Tony said softly.

“Sorry.” The man turned back to glare at Peter, who was still smiling. “So I suggest that you wipe that stupid smile off your face, before I come over there and _smack_ it off! You feeling strong my friend? Call me elf _one more time!”_

Peter stared around the table, not completely sure what to do. “He’s an angry elf.” He whispered loudly.

“That’s it!” The man yelled, jumping up and running across the table, before attacking Peter, and overpowering him very easily.

Eitri got him in a headlock. “Call me elf one more time.” He demanded angrily.

“You’re and elf!” Peter exclaimed desperately, not completely understanding that the guy didn’t actually want him to do that.

Eitri flipped him over, threw him toward the door, and began to storm off.

“Eitri, please, I’m sorry, he —“ Tony attempted to reason. Eitri was a very valuable person to have on the good side of the company, even if he refused to re-open the weapons manufacturing division. “— he thinks he’s an elf — listen, Eitri — listen, Eitri!”

“He must be a South Pole elf…” Peter muttered, standing up from where he landed.

Tony turned to him, fuming. “You get the hell outta here, Parker.” He said, his voice low and angry.

“… Where do you want me to go?” Peter asked.

“I don’t _care_ where you go! _”_ Tony seethed. “I don’t _care_ that you’re an elf,I don’t _care_ that you’re nuts, I don’t _care_ that you’re my _son!_ Get out of my life! _NOW!”_

Peter looked at his father sadly, tears gathering in his eyes, and ran out of the office, straight to the elevator.

Tony slumped back in his chair, grabbing his left arm painfully. The people around him looked at him, their expressions ranging from shocked to disappointed, before Natasha ushered them out, and turned to him, looking mad.

“You shouldn’t have done that.” Natasha murmured, anger very evident in her quiet voice. “It’s going to bite you in the ass, Stark. Pepper’s going to kill you. Morgan’s going to be _very_ upset. You fucked up.”

Tony nodded. He took his hand away from his aching left arm, instead rubbing his chest, where the electromagnet that kept him alive while he’d been kidnapped in Afghanistan used to sit.

“I know.” He murmured. “I know, I just — _fuck._ Fuck.”

Natasha turned swiftly, and left.

Tony felt a bit lost as to what to do. He felt like he did in that cage in Afghanistan, when he had a car battery in his chest and Rhodey had saved him — he felt hopeless.

He was wallowing in his self-hate in his office a few hours later, when Morgan ran in, Pepper following behind her.

“Daddy!” Morgan cried, throwing herself onto him. “Daddy, Petey’s _gone!_ He’s gone, and he left his phone, and we left a note on an etch-a-sketch, and — and he _left!”_ She wailed, burying her face in the crook of his neck.

Tony looked up at his wife, holding their daughter close. “He’s… he’s gone?”

Pepper nodded solemnly, and Tony tightened his grip on Morgan.

This was all his fault. He told Peter to leave, he told the kid he didn’t want him… it was all his fault, _his fault, his fault, his fault, his fault._

Tony got up from his desk, carrying Morgan on his hip, and gave Pepper a one armed hug. “We’ll find him.” He promised. “We’ll find him — what did… what did he write on the etch-a-sketch?”

Pepper sighed. “That he was sorry for showing up and ruining our lives and and that he was sorry for putting eleven cookies in your that old VCR that Rhodey gave you.”

Tony sighed, leaning his forehead against Peppers for a second, before straightening up. “Happy got the car?”

“He drove us here, but I told him to wait for Rhodey at home.”

Tony frowned I thought Rhodey was coming on boxing day?”

“No,” Pepper shook her head. “He wants to meet the kid, so he’s coming to us for Christmas, and then we’re all going to fly out to his moms together.”

“Okay,” Tony nodded. “Okay. Let’s go find Peter.”

Peter wandered through New York City, hugging the warm hoodie his dad had given him that morning close, and trying to hold in his tears.

He didn’t really know what to do. He — he thought that Tony was starting to like him! His dad had been being super nice since they watched Star Wars, and… and he’d been slowly making Peter try more human, not sweet foods (which he was getting more used to eating, which was nice), and they’d — Peter had thought it would be okay.

He hadn’t meant to make Mister Eitri — the angry elf — mad, and he hadn’t wanted to make his dad mad, he just… it was an _accident._

Somehow, Peter found himself at Central Park, and, as he was nearing it, he saw something — a flash of reindeer and a red sleigh, a bang noise and something silver falling —

— _Santa!_

Peter took off at a run, sprinting towards where he saw the sleigh crash as fast as he possibly could.

When he got there, he tapped Santa on the shoulder, and the man immediately got into a defensive position, before he realised who Peter was, and he relaxed. “Peter? Peter Parker?”

Peter nodded, grinning.

“Oh, how glad I am that you’re here — you remember the Claus-O-Meter that your Uncle Ben taught you how to fix?”

“Yeah?” Peter nodded, kind of nervous. “Of course I do — I think I saw it fall of your sleigh when you crashed!”

“Yes.” The big guy agreed. “Yes, it did. I need to stay here with the reindeer — can you find it for me? Please, Peter.”

Peter swallowed, and nodded. “Yes! I’ll find it! I’ll be back with it soon, I promise!”

Santa smiled at him, as Peter started to walk in the direction that he saw the Claus-O-Meter fall.

“Has he shown up?” Tony asked Happy desperately as he speed walked down the streets, Morgan on his shoulders, slowly getting closer to Times Square. Pepper was in the car, so that they could cover more ground.

_“No, boss. I’m sorry.”_

Tony sighed. “Okay. I’ve gotta keep looking, but call if he shows up, okay? And shoot me a text when Rhodey gets there.”

 _“On it Boss.”_ Happy said, before hanging up.

Tony shoved the phone back in his pocket, and looked up at his daughter. “See him anywhere?”

Morgan shook her head. “No… wait! Go faster, we need to see the big screens!”

Tony sped up a bit, before he could see one of the large Times Square screens.

 _“Nobody is sure what caused the commotion in Central Park tonight, but as we speak, the Central Park Rangers are being deployed. These horses are highly trained, and one ever come out in emergencies.”_ The news reporter paused, the screen behind her changing from a view of the horses, to a fuzzy video of a kid in an elf suit walking through the snow. _“So far, this footage of an_ elf _walking through the park is all that we have at this time. This is Christine Everhart, back soon when we have updates on the situation.”_

“Pete…” Tony murmured. He grabbed the phone back out of his pocket, and called Pepper. “Pep, Morgan and I are at Times Square, can you come get us? We need to get to Central Park.”

_“Okay. I’ll be a couple of minutes.”_

Pepper hung up, and Tony lowered Morgan to the ground.

Within ten minutes, Tony and Morgan were racing through central park, trying to find Peter, and Pepper was trying to get through the crowd gathered around Christine Everhart outside the park.

“Peter!” Tony called, and he and his daughter raced through Central Park. “Pete! Kid!”

“Peteyyyyy!” Morgan called as well. “Peteyyy! Where are youuuu?”

“Peter! Pete —” Tony cut off when he saw his kid, picking up something large and silver.

Peter looked up when he heard them, startling slightly when he saw who it was. “Morgan? D — dad?”

“Peteyyyy!” Morgan smiled widely, running up to him and hugging him tightly. “I was so worried about you. I thought that you left me.” She frowned.

“I’m sorry.” Peter whispered to her. “Don’t worry, Morgie — I’m not going anywhere…” He looked up at his dad. “.. if its okay — for me to not go anywhere?”

Tony refused to let the boring he felt in his eyes become tears, so instead, he pulled Peter into a tight hug. “I’m sorry, kid. I am so, _so_ sorry.”

“It’s okay, dad.” Peter replied. “I love you.”

Tony paused, the let out a long breath. “I — I love you — I love you too, son.”

Peter wriggled out of his fathers grip, still holding the Claus-O-Meter in one hand, and beckoned for Morgan and his father to follow him. “Come on! We need to go help Santa.”

Tonys smile fell slightly at the reminder that his son thought he was an elf, but, after the scare of losing the kid — which was his own fault, something he hated himself for — he couldn’t find himself to care about his kids elf-ness anymore.

Tony and Morgan followed Peter as he dragged them back to where he knew Santa and the reindeer and the sleigh would be.

He could see the moment that his father realised what he was seeing, and could see the joy in Morgans eyes as she talked the the reindeer excitedly.

Santa popped up from where he was grabbing the emergency toolbox. “I need you to work quick, Peter. The Central Park Rangers have been sent out — and they hate me.”

“Why?”

“Put them on the naughty list and they never forgave me.”

“Huh.” Peter looked at the man in red. “So, uh… what exactly happened here? How’d the sleigh fall?”

Santa sighed. “Christmas spirit just dropped completely. There’s not enough belief out there anymore."

Peter and Santa got to work, and Tony saw the book on the seat of the sleigh, which he knew had to be something to do with the presents, and, since all this insanity was real, he grabbed it, and passed it to Morgan.

They needed to raise Christmas spirit.

“Santa, give me your coat.” He said hurriedly.

The man hesitated, but passes it over. Tony there it on, grabbed Morgans hand, and started running back to where Pepper and the crowd were.

“I’m telling you, MJ, it was _Peter_ on the news report!”

Michelle rolled her eyes at Ned. They’d bonded over their mutual lack of friends a long time ago, so Neds new friendship with they new guy was… a bit weird. New guy was nice, though, so it was okay. “Ned, you’ve known him for like, three days. How could you _possibly_ know that they guy wandering around central park in an elf costume was Peter Parker?”

The woman in from of them turned around, and MJ was surprised to find herself face to face with Pepper Stark.

Pepper frowned. “Did you just say Peter Parker?”

Ned and MJ exchanged a glance, and both nodded.

She smiled in relief. “Oh, thank god — do you know where he is?”

“Uh… no…” Ned said slowly. “Why do you — how do you — know Peter, ma’am?”

“Step-son.” Pepper laughed when Ned gasped. “Trust me, it’s a very recent discovery, but I _need_ to find him.”

“He was on the footage of —“

“Pepper!” Michelle laughed when Neds jaw dropped, as Tony Stark and Morgan Stark squeezed through the crowd to get to Pepper.

“Tony!” She exclaimed. “Did you find him? Is he okay? Where is he?”

“Yeah, he’s — he’s gotta do a thing. He’s fine. Morgan —”

Morgan was gone — pushing through the crowd to get close to Christine Everhart, who’s voice was being muffled by the loud crowd. Tony pulled up the live news on his phone, ignoring the text from Happy saying that Rhodeys plane was delayed.

“— your name, young lady?”

Morgan hugged the big book tight. _“I’m Morgan Stark, and I know what’s happening!”_

_“Really?”_

_“Yeah!”_ Morgan nodded. _“This is Santas book, with the lists of everyone and what they want for Christmas. It was in Central Park where his sleigh crashed.”_ There was laughter, and Morgan glared at the people around her, flipping the book open. _“Daisy Hudson wants a record player for Christmas. Samuel Hurl wants his younger brother to get better from his tonsillitis. What’s your name, Miss?”_

_“Uh — Christine Everhart.”_

Morgan flipped to a different page, then looked up at the reporter. _“You want your boyfriend Dave to propose to you, and you also want him to stop leaving dirty socks on your bed in the morning.”_

Christines face went red, and the report cut off.

“Okay, uh,” Ned tried to ignore the fact that he was with Tony and Pepper Stark — and that his new friend was Tony Starks _child._ “So he was uh — not lying? — Peter, that is?”

“Yeah.” Tony nodded.

“Okay, so — so if the sleigh crashed, then we need to get some — some Christmas cheer, and —”

 _“The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.”_ Pepper murmured.

Michelle stepped away from the crowd, and faced them, smiling slightly when she saw Morgan return. She cleared her throat. “You better watch out, you better to cry,”

Pepper smiled at the girl, and joined in. “You better not pout, I’m telling you why; Santa Claus is coming, to town.”

The song went on, and more and more people joined in. Morgan looked up at her dad, and frowned. “You’re not singing. You’re lip-syncing.”

Tony sighed. “It’s the same thing, Maguna. Doesn’t make a difference.”

Morgana shook her head. “You gotta sing, daddy — so that Santa can deliver the gifts!”

The man rolled his eyes, and begrudgingly joined in. “— Santa Claus is coming, to town. He see’s you when you’re sleeping, he knows if you’re awake, he —“

The people stopped singing, as they started to see it — the reindeer and the bright red sleigh flying away. Tony grinned as Peter emerged from the park.

“Dad!” The kid exclaimed. “Oh, uh — hey, Ned. MJ. This is my dad.”

Both of them just stared at him blankly. “Uh — anyway, it worked! I don’t know what you guys did, but it worked! We saved Christmas!”

Rhodey hadn’t been surprised when Pepper told him that Tony’s fifteen year old illegitimate son had turned up out of the blue, but he wasn’t expecting what he saw when he walked into their penthouse, in the early hours of Christmas Day.

Morgan was conked out on the couch, between Tony and Pepper, and there was a kid sitting next to Tony, staring at the TV in wonder as Star Wars played.

That kid looked exactly like Tony did when Rhodey first met him. He grinned. “Hey, kid. I’m your Uncle Rhodey.”

The kid looked up in surprise, grinning when his eyes focused on the man. “Hi! I’m Peter — Peter Parker!”

Jesus, Tony had found himself another kid.

Peter saw May again very soon. He took his sister to visit his Aunt, and the two became besties immediately.

All was good in the world of Peter Parker-Stark — son of Tony Stark, step-son of Pepper Stark, brother of Morgan Stark; the boy raised by elves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yayyyy!! did it in four chapters! 
> 
> honestly this entire story was just written out of boredom and lack of inspiration for never tear us apart, but everyone thats commented has been super super nice about it, so thanks for that everyone :))
> 
> (and for anyone who cares, ill try have the next chapter of never tear us apart by late sunday night, but no promises :D)
> 
> MERRY CHRISTMAS MY DUDES <3

**Author's Note:**

> i literally have no idea why i wrote thsi but i did it instead of sleeping, it should be done by christmas, and my other wip (Never Tear Us Apart) will be updated later on, but iTLL BE DONE BY NEW YEARS I PROMISe
> 
> now go do what i wont and get some slleep. please. for the sake of my sanity.
> 
> also this is just 2339 words of complete and utter bullshit and the four chapters is in no way shape or form definitive so dont mind me i am just back on my bullshit :)
> 
> and yes, it is names after a line from joy to the world by three dog night, an absolute fucking classic.


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